26 November 2009


I have been thinking about this for some time now and I am coming to the conclusion that I have 'faith envy'. There are a couple of blogs I have been reading for a while now; Cjane and NieNie. This family have been thru a horrendous time yet their faith and subsequent strength is mind blowing. Stephanie (of NieNie) suffered 80% burns to her body after an airline accident, she wasn't expected to survive yet she is home and caring for her young family. She has constant pain and challenges that would make the toughest man cry, yet with her strong faith and the faith and support of her large family she gets through her days.
But it isn't just about having that belief and someone to pray to etc it is about community too. She has support from her church community, strength in numbers and all that.

I was speaking to someone not long ago who is Mormon. Her husband works as a nurse and said how common it is that people who are seriously ill/injured heal better and faster than those who don't. this is from what he has seen and not a study or anything. I wonder if this is because the patient can relax and leave it up to his/her god, we know the negative affect stress can have on ones body so if stress isn't a factor does this allow the body to heal better?

My biggest question is how does faith happen? Do people who have been raised from birth in a particular faith just blindly go along with it? Wouldn't this be brainwashing? What about the 'born again' who finds faith? Are they more faithful than someone born into it?

I went to a Catholic boarding school for my secondary years. I was part of a youth group called Antioch. We went to church and help prayer meetings and retreats etc After a year or so I had to admit that it wasn't for me. Socially I loved it, loved the friends I made through it and the 'community' but as for the 'god' part, it just didn't happen for me. why did I not have faith?
What is it about faith that means some people do and some don't?
Another friend of mine, who is also Mormon talks of her church community and I envy that community. Mind you I know that I could create my own community should I wish to but sometimes it would be nice to walk into a ready made one.
I don't know where this is coming from, I read over what I have written and I sound like I am wanting a god but it isn't really that, it is more a question of the how and whys of faith. How does it work?


KatinSpace said...

For how does faith happen you have to read "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. There is chapters at the start about why faith is a common theme through time and race.

For me I was born into a good old traditional Roman Catholic household and I too did antioch and youth group and loved the community. Funnily enough it was going to a Lutheran school (which was a bit of a big deal because they didn't really want to let me worship at the church etc) and the class I took in comparative religion, alongside the studies that I had done with my father on Greek and Roman mythology that made me start to doubt my faith. The idea that there were so many people who were just as adamant that their faith was the right one.

Also I was reading a lot of Sci Fi and often Arthur C Clarkes 3rd law would get cited "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" and I would think about how people used to worship the sun until we worked out it was a star and then they worshiped many gods and then they pared it down to these monotheistic religions and it just doesn't make sense to me.

Not to mention that you've got Christianity, Islam and Judaism that are all like so based in each other and share the same stories that it's like chinese whispers.

So in the end I just came to the realisation that for me it's scientifically unlikely that anyone will ever prove that there is a God so I'm a functional atheist. I mean what the fuck does he do??? What's the point of having one around with all the crap that goes on? and I don't really care about my mortality atm so wether or not there's a god doesn't really bother me.

As for the lady who's hubby says healing goes better if you're a believer that makes my bullshit detector go BING BING BINGBINGBINGBINGBINGBING.

As for community Kell, that's a thing we make, my community is the craft community and you women are there to support me every day. If I needed you. You make you're own community it doesn't have to be built around some deity.

Much Love

Jamie said...

I know just what you are feeling.

Kebeni said...

Kat I get what you are saying. I know you don't need a church to have a community and I guess I really miss you guys and the community we created which was such a treasured thing.

KatinSpace said...

I know Kell!! Our community wouldn't be what it is if you weren't there to be in at the building of the foundations of it. I'm sorry that you're geographically further away now but you're still part of my community baby! Just wish it could be with more cuddles :)