21 October 2010

what does it take to be a mother - motherheart post

Well, I am in no mood for writing about parenting as such today.  Woke crabby, feel like seven shades of shit and just not in the headspace.

So I am going to cheat.  
Naomi wrote about qualities needed to be a mother and I have listed them below.  Must admit I uttered a "oh fuck" when I read her list cos I don't think I possess many of them LOL

But I have cut and pasted her list below and created my version of events instead...........

  1. Knows the power of prayer (is humble and knows she is not alone in this work)  absolutely!!   I am often heard muttering "holy fuck, is it their fathers weekend yet!"
  2. Cooking skills (knows how to plan and make healthy meals)  another positive here.  I am always without fail seen standing at pantry and fridge at 6pm pondering what gourmet delight I will create for dinner and it hasn't killed anyone yet so must be healthy!
  3. Sense of humour (being a mother can be down right depressing some days, being able to laugh makes a big difference) I laugh often.  Usually when my kids ask something like "can you buy us a Wii?" or "can you take us to mcdonalds?"  I have even been known to pee a little at "but daddy says you have lots of money!"
  4. Organised (a house of order brings happiness and routine brings security)  We get up in the morning, we have 3 meals a day and we sleep at night, I challenge you to be more organised than that!!
  5. Kindness/compassionate (children face pressure everywhere, they need a soft voice and a refuge at home)um, see above oh and number 3 maybe
  6. Self reliant (can emotionally face challenges and deal with them)single mother HELLO!!!!
  7. Selfless (understands that being a mother is about serving the family 24/7) see above
  8. Good listener (knows when to bite her tongue and just listen) so does it count that I may (just may) be reading, writing, watching, vagueing out and that is why I am silent??
  9. Honest (with herself and her children) oh come on!!! everyone knows that barbies real name is Bimbo!
  10. Patient (knows the importance of sacrifice and going without) WTF! !  ofcourse I am patient,   I have been in hospital plenty of times!
 There are a lot more qualities I would add but to have a little fun I decided to also send her my added bonus list:
  1. Knows how to have fun  yup, whole lotta fun here
  2. Can sing  for sure, I sing heaps my son even asked his sister if she would sing to her kids just like I do (to annoy them too)
  3. Can dance  I can wobble with the best of them and make the cd skip - can you !!!
  4. Has fashion sense I save lots of cents by shopping at op shops and I have  the sense not to give a flying f#$k about fashion.  Unfortunately my daughter is a true fashionista despite my best efforts
  5. Technology skills  hey baby!  you are talking great computer skills but if you are talking phones, nup.  who wants to be facebooking and blogging when they are out.  REALLY!  my phone is usually flat, is $49 from supermarket and is used for texts and occasional calls.
  6. Knows how to throw a good partyfor kids, for sure!
  7. Can draw  what is the criteria?
  8. Bargain shopper :)  see number 4  
I am on a roll here I can see so I feel inspired to add some more....
 1. gives respect 
2. lead by example
3. plays with your children
4.reads to them often
5. includes them in conversation and decision making
6. gets down to their level when speaking
7. understands that they won't always want you around so make the most of it when they are young
8. you cannot spoil a child with love and affection
9. smacking is hitting and hitting is abuse 
10. Never verbally putting down or belittle your child
11. take care of yourself , you cannot be an effective parent if you are not feeling 100%
12. take time out for yourself away from it all (see above)

13.  the housework will still be there tomorrow!

Thanks Naomi, I am feeling better having done this.  I love your advise and hope it is taken in the jest I meant it to be taken.

Read some more motherheart stories at seven cherubs
or thousand word Thursdays at Toushka


Being Me said...

Oh I love the way you turned this around by the end! Kebeni, you're a marvel :)

nellbe said...

Clever :) Love your list at the end. Hope your day ended up better.

Naomi said...

Well, Kebeni you are lucky I am in a good mood today :) and it takes a lot for me to get offended!

First - I have to say I love the additions in purple the most and will add those to my extended list.

Second - I think being a single mum is the hardest work in the whole entire world - I admire your strength and focus on what matters most.

Third - I am so glad I got to help you get some thoughts out and appreciate your honesty and opinion.

Fourth - there is no such thing as a perfect mum - we are all different and have unique trials and challenges - we cannot compare each other but can learn from each other.

Fifth, thanks for linking up today and reminding me to lighten up!

love Naomi xx

This Mid 30s Life said...

That was good fun! I'll bet that made you feel good writing that, don't you find blogging is such a good release?