Bin a long time

I knew it had been a while but didn't realise quite how long. Far out! Where does the time go.. I really do barely have time to scratch my butt nowadays.

We have settled very nicely and I am convinced this was the right move for all of us. Since so much has been happening I might just update everything seperately rather than go into a full on monologue LOL

HOME:
Cooler weather is becoming more the norm than the oddity now and I a grateful I have a wood heater and a lovely daddy who brings me wood! Very spoilt as most places here use electricity for heating and that is quite expensive. As for electricity we have a 'pay as you go' system which is quite good. It means you apply to the electricity company to have the power connected and you get a card that you can put credit on at various places (newsagents etc) and then you put the card in a little slot type machine where the metre is (or would be) and it adds the credit to your account. I like it as you can add some each pay an dnot get stuck with a big bill every quarter.

We have a great winter veggie garden on the go. We planted sprouts, cauli, broccoli, spinach, leeks, beetroot, herbs and lettuce and it is thriving, well as much as it can thrive under the vigilant watchful eyes of the snails!

I am finding it hard to keep up with the house hold chores and find my saturdays are filled with washing and cleaning etc but a friend of mine has a daughter who wants to earn some cashola so I am thinking of handing over the domestic chores to her LOL How decadent!

BEREN:
Beren didn't want to go back to school at the end of last year. HOwever this year he can't rave quite enough about how much he likes his school, nay, loves his school. Isn't it funny! He will be seven in July and really is thriving. He has friends, he actually approaches people and initiates conversation which is heart warming to watch as it has taken a long time. He really is happy within himself. Don't get me wrong, he does have his moments of moodiness and anger but for generally he is pretty laid back. He is loving being able to read and is reading chapter books without pictures and helping teach Nienna to write! His teacher says she finds it difficult to ask him to put his pen down in creative writing and often has to promise to give him time later to finish as he tends to write several pages at a time.
Physically he is very confident in himself now and is enjoying playing football at aschool and keen to have a go at rollerblading at the rink near us, he can have that on his own!
He is a very loving boy and it really warms me that it is such a common thing for him to be half way thru eating breakfast or something and he will come and hunt me out to cuddle me and tell me he loves me LOL a sweet boy he is.

NIENNA
Oh boy!!! Miss N will be 5 on the 3rd of May and what a handful she is of late. Very temperamental and defiant as usual but sooooooooo god damn................... argh!!!!!!!! An example; last Tuesday morning she had had a bad nights sleep and was tired when I got her up for kinder. The next 1.5hrs was spent with her screaming, throwing things, yelling and sobbing. Eventually she got dressed and went to kinder and was as good as gold when she got there. Now I know many of you are thinking why didn't I just let her stay home, apart from the fact that I work Miss N is the type of child that will go "OK so I just need to scream a bit and I will get what I want, cool!" and believe me she will run with this idea. She was fine and I knew she was not ill, traumatised over something at school but just being feisty and challenging because she was tired.

I am taking her to see the doc next week (if I can get one to see us next week! serious doctor shortages here) as her tonsils have been enlarged for a couple of weeks and she is having breathing difficulties just like Beren experienced. I don't want her to suffer for the length of time he did and i really do think she is going down the same path so I want her on a wait list sooner than later for adenoid/tonsil surgery. Learnt my lesson with B on that one.
She does love kinder and creche and is writing like a champ but because she has skipped a step and doesn't know how to sound out words etc our free time goes something like :

"mum I want to write " I love barbie and want to have a barbie princess party for my birthday and invite all my friends", how do I spell that mum?"

To which I then spell out all the letters and spaces for her so she can write them, LOL Trust me this gets tedious after the 1ooth sentence@!
All in all though she is still my tiny cuddly Nu and is a dear girl who loves her brother and me to death.

KELLI
I am enjoying being closer to family and friends here. Mind you this week I caught up with a friend who lives in Melbourne when I was in HObart LOL
I don't have the circle that I had in Melbourne and I really feel that and even writing this I feel my eyes tear up because I miss my RavRocket girls so much and feel quite lonely at times. I don't even have the time to feel that I am part of an online community anymore either as I just don't get on the computer at home much. I spend so much time on it at work that I don't want to sit here in the evenings at all. I am losing touch slowly I fear.
I am feeling very unhealthy atm too as I have had such a hectic couple of weeks with work and work travel that I have been neglecting myself and eating loads of crap. I am making a vow to change that as I feel disgusting and sluggish.

I am knitting and crafting but do have a back log of things to do and furniture I have bought and want to renovate but haven't yet. My garage is filling up fast LOL

I do think it was a good move despite my missing friends and I have met some new people and know that it will just take a bit of time and I will create a circle for myself here too.

the kids dad is still here and living in a crappy little caravan. He has the kids after school and every second weekend. I really have to turn myself off to him and his 'life' as I get too angry/sad when I think about it. I have actually learnt some valuable lessons these past few weeks and it has been a difficult learning curve for me. It is amazing what kids can teach us adn I think we often forget that they are great teachers.
When A first moved into the caravan I was convinced that the kids would hate it and it was terrible for them and really transferring my feelings about it all onto them and assuming I knew how they would feel. I found that I was commenting on things A did or said alot.
One day when the kids were late getting home I mentioned it to Beren that we couldn't do something and he said
" MUM, don't blame dad like you always do it was our fault because we wanted to finish a game on the playstation!"
Well, that stopped me in my tracks and gave me pause for thought! Had I really been that vocal in my thoughts? I obviously had and knew that I had to stop that. It has taken a lot but I know that if A lived in a gutter the kids would probably still be happy with him and want to spend time with him and just because I wouldn't want to live the way he does is irrelevant. the kids love him no matter what and just like being with him. Yeah, they watch lots of tv and play lots of playstation but they also learn a shit load of stuff about science, astronomy adn stuff I don't know. they can tell me all the planets and every thing about them! so I have learnt to keep my mouth shut and look at the positives and at the fact that my kids like spending time with their dad.

I am sensitive and I do get hurt sometimes when they want to be with him and say I am too strict etc but I also know that becaues I have boundaries, am a good role model and do have rules and routines they benefit from that and one day they will appreciate that. Their dad may be a good playmate but comes a time when you need more than playmates.

WORK
It has been harding going to full time work. I am very fortunate that I work in a flexible environment where all my colleagues are mums and understand the demands of juggling family and work. I have found it very hard not being able to spend as much time with the kids as before and often have moments of incredible guilt that I am putting my needs before theirs. Mind you if I quit and told them that I would be collecting them from school and they wouldn't be with A every day they would probably mutiny LOL
This week I changed my hours so that I can work extra hours on the Fridays the kids are with A for the weekend and finish early on the Friday they are with me, that way I can pick them up from school and spend some free time with them or go away or something.

I am finding my job challenging for a variety of reasons but incredibly fulfilling too. We have just submitted a grant for a project that is my 'baby'. It is for a pilot series of three playgroups in disadvantaged areas around the state that works with children and parents in a community garden setting. they will learn about gardening, nutrition, sustainability, frugal living and such. Research has found that when trying to teach parents this in some areas it is falling on deaf ears and facilitators haven't been able to reach the people they need to reach but using the children as a way to teach does work so I am really excited about this. It is the first time I will have managed a project from start to finish and I am over the moon about it. Our funding/grant person is very positive that we will get the grant so fingers crossed!

The other project I have been working on that is a first of it's kind in Australia is also something I am quite passionate about. there is a program called My Time that runs around Australia supporting families with children who have disabilities and Playgroup Tas co-ordinate several groups in the State. However this new one is a first and will run out of the Hobart Ronald McDonald House
This program will have a play consultant who will play with the children and a facilitator who works with the parents, either just listening or providing network links, taking them to the pool, coffee, movies, massage. Whatever the parents what or need really. It is a great program and we have a media launch next week. I hope to see families who are in the house, at the Royal Hobart Hospital and past RMH visitors utilise the service and I am sure it will be awesome! When I look at things I am helping implement I am so proud with what I am doing and know that for someone out there I am making a difference.
This week also saw my immediate boss, the CEO resign. Thus, I have been run off my feet as I am now the contact for PGT until a replacement is found and I have inherited a shitload more work. We are playing a waiting game to see what the Committee of Management decide to do as there are a few paths th eorganisation could go down. *insert drumming fingers sound here*. So, in the mean time it is bum up and head down. Next week and the following week see me travelling to the NW coast for one day each week and then I think I am back down in Hobart for meetings again. Can't say my job is boring that is for sure!


Well, that is our catch up in a large nutshell. I will post about Beren and my trip to Beauty Point next blog rather than run off the page with this one.