03 June 2012

wow, just wow AKA bi-polar2 and Kelli nil

Well that was an adventurous couple of weeks.  I should be used to it but I don't think I ever will be.   I expected a bit of a down slide when I went of antidepressants completely but I didn't truly expect it to be happen so fast and so severely.  I really have no recollection beyond last Wed other than what I have written.  My mum is here still and I couldn't really tell you when she got here.
My brain is pretty foggy from FMS at the best of times without assistance from my fucked up mental system LOL
I was prescribed zyprexa by my GP two weeks ago but haven't taken it.  Their were a few reasons for this;
1. It is hard core shit, the pharmacist handed me a 20pg handout of info and told me to get weekly bloods done!
2. GP seemed to think it would level my moods overnight (fuckwit anyone) when even I know it takes a few weeks to kick in.
3. over 25000 people have sued Lily for not disclosing risks associated with the drug that then caused diabetes.  With a waistline like mine who needs the additional help!
4. It is most commonly used for schizophrenia and not depression or bipolar

I have blurred along on Valium when needed and now seem to have come out of what adds up to just over a month of severe depressive episode, self harm and suicide watch.

I have also been re-diagnosed with bi-polar II and this makes a lot of sense.  I have not started medication and won't until I see dr again next week.  This is the part that scares me most.  I mean a diagnosis is freaky but I have suspected this for some time so it didn't come as a shock really.
The meds for this differ so greatly from regular SSRI's with much nastier side effects and that is what totally freaks me out.  I just don't know what to do. The least nasty is lithium and that is nasty enough in it's own right.
Or, I could try and go without anything and see what happens.
I KNOW!!

However, as crazy as it sounds it isn't that crazy really.  I mean, one of the reasons my moods were changing soooo rapidly was because I was on anti-depressants.  This affects the mood swings and causes them to occur more often.  My thinking is that if I stay off all drugs maybe there will be more of an evening out of moods and less roller coaster?

I just wish there were some decent fucking doctors in Tassie who know their shit!  I am seriously considering seeing my old doc in Melb in August for some decent advise.

So, if anyone out there in blogger world cares to offer some advice it is more than welcome :)



3 comments:

Leah - Bogue Living said...

Oh that sucks about the SSRi's making the swings worse, not really helpful is it!

Sif Dal said...

Shit, I have no advice! (Weird, we seem to have the same theme for our posts today - though not in the same ball park by any measure) The whole meds trap is so hard, yes they help, but at what cost, but then what is the cost of not taking them? Some sound advice would make a huge difference - can you get to see your Melbourne doctor earlier than August?

Paula @ acresoflearning.blogspot.com.au said...

Have you looked at diet. I know it sounds oversimplified. But I have been carbohydrate and sugar free for 3 years and my and my son's emotions (we get depression)are now more level. We have more energy than ever , he has started to grow some muscle on his gangly little body, I have lost 12kg (that's a good thing) and neither of us has suffered depression since. Then again when I eat those things my body can't digest I feel sick, lethargic, get all sorts of pains and aches and have mood swings.
I started with the SCD diet and then a year later the biomed tests came back for my ASD son and I started him on GAPS diet. It's now just a lifestyle for us.